Instability

“Stability is everything. Being it emotional or physical, you need a solid ground to build anything on.”

As a college student, I feel like I’m always living in multiple places. I’m at school, at home, taking trips, and constantly on the move.

Thankfully, when I’m at school, I have a set schedule. Classes and work are consistent, letting me breathe a little bit. But even when I’m in my apartment going to class every day, I still don’t feel perfectly at home. Some of my belongings are still at home, leaving me constantly feeling like I’m on vacation somewhere.

When I come home for break, it’s more of the same. The majority of my belongings remain at school, making me feel less at home than I should. It’s the most difficult when I’m home for Christmas break; three weeks of essentially living out of a suitcase.

As a freshman and sophomore in college, I dreaded my graduation day. I felt as though university was where I belonged and thrived and I never wanted to leave. However, when you live in a college dorm, you’re required to vacate the premises during breaks, potentially being forced to take all of your belongings with you. Even if you are going to be in the exact same apartment in the fall, you have to move all of your stuff out and into storage during the summer and then back into the apartment in the fall. The closer I get to graduation, the more excited I get for the stability that comes along with it. Having a daily job to go to as well as having a single place that is my home is something that I dream about.

While I don’t want to wish or rush my college days away, the instability that comes along with it is frustrating. It reminds me of a musician living on the road, sleeping in a new place every night and carrying your entire life in a duffel bag. While I have more stability than that musician, any instability in your home life is dissatisfying and tiring.

I want to be able to buy furniture and create a home that I love, decorating it the way I want and making it my own. Creating a home for yourself is part of your independence. I’ve always been an independent person, striving for it for as long as I can remember. I almost feel as though being a college student so close to graduation, I am being held back from that independence.

With that being said, I absolutely love both my university and the learning process. Attending classes allows me to expand my horizons and knowledge base to be a more rounded, better person. The classes and education system are not the problem. The problem is the overall lack of steadiness and permanence to the lifestyle. A friend of mine has her own off-campus apartment near her university, which is about twenty minutes away from her hometown where her mother lives. I find myself envious of her ability to remain in one place throughout the entire year, making a home for herself while still enrolled in school.

By the time graduation rolls around, I think I will be ready to move on with my life and create a stable environment for myself. In the meantime, I plan to enjoy the few semesters that I have left, spending that time enjoying myself and the wonderful experiences that I am blessed with.

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