Immensity

“Your future hasn’t been written yet. No one’s has. Your future is whatever you make it. So make it a good one.”

When you’re in a long-term relationship, you make plans. You picture your future together: what you’re going to do, where it’s going to go, how you’re going to get there, and what all of that will look like. It creates anticipation and security. You know what you want and you know where you’re going. If things don’t work out and that relationship ends, that stability of future plans goes right along with it.

For the last three years, I’ve felt like I knew where my life was heading. I had a general roadmap for the next few years and I could see the timeline on the horizon. So when my long-term boyfriend and I decided to end our romantic relationship, I was suddenly faced with a completely uncertain future after graduation, and that immensity can be overwhelming.

At first, the immensity of the future was frightening. I was afraid of not knowing what was coming. In addition, I was disappointed because I felt like I used to know. I felt like I’d had my life together and suddenly, I didn’t anymore. Instead of viewing the future as a new path I was paving, I felt like I had swerved off-course.

Now, I see the future as unwritten. “Life is immense, but we bravely go into it every day.” It is a blank canvas of which I can create anything. As a writer, I think one of the most beautiful things is a blank page. An empty notebook. Its vacancy holds within it immense possibility. You can create anything you want. Everything you want. Create everything out of nothing. There are no limits to what you can do with your future, what path you can pave. But the future is also fleeting, so we have to make the most of what we do have.

The future doesn’t always have to be what you expected it to be. In fact, I’ve found that my most rewarding experiences are those that I’ve happened upon unintentionally. When I look back on my life, there are many things that never went according to plan. But those detours have helped solidify the person that I am. All of my experiences, good and bad, have taught me things about myself and life itself. The ending of my relationship is going to do the same for me, in time.

We’re all afraid of something. For some of us, it’s the future. For others, the past. For many of us, it’s both. Immensity is terrifying, but also thrilling. Life is immense. But life is also an adventure, an immensity destined to be faced. It’s a story that you’re writing, filling that beautiful, blank sheet of paper with memories and experiences. Don’t be afraid to write that story. Otherwise, someone else will write it for you.

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